Identity or Identities?

       The question that arose in class that was of particular interest to me was the one dealing with the debate on whether or not we can have two identities - or is there always a pressure to choose between one or the other? I am currently struggling with this issue in my own life, and often find myself asking whether or not I can continue to be both things.  

       In high school, I began dating someone that was in college.  Being a part of two different worlds seemed only temporary - because that following year I would be able to join him at school and become a part of the same world.  We would be able to share in more experiences together and grow closer.  Little did I know that my life would change drastically that following year ...

Currently, my boyfriend is enlisted in the United States Marine Corps.  He left for K9 training in San Antonio, Texas the week of our spring break.  He will remain there until June and then be stationed on a military base until he is shipped out to Afghanistan by the end of the year - where he will spend the following 7 months fighting.  The next four years of my life I will spend little time with Ryan.  Although it seems that I have assumed an identity that does not fit well with the identity of college student at 19, both identities have become such a significant part of me that I could never bring myself to choose between them. 

       The reason that this relates to the initial question is that fact one of my most domineering identities is that of Marine's girlfriend. However, I have to learn to balance that with my other identity as first year college student.  While my family and friends push me to experience the fullness of the college life and to take advantage of every opportunity, I find it difficult to just go out and have a good time knowing that Ryan cannot do the same.  There will always be that part of me that wants to be carefree and just have fun with my friends, being social and having no ties to anything serious.  I know, however, that this is not the right path for me because I cannot picture my life without Ryan.  I am committed to both identities because together, they make me who I am - and I refuse to allow anything to come between that. 

    In response to the initial question, I believe that a person can assume two identities and remain committed to both.  There will always be those outside pressures, trying to persuade you to come to a decision.  And as humans, to rid our lives of all that is complicated seems like the easier road to take at times.  However, what many fail to realize is the fact that life is all about the challenge and overcoming the many hardships we are faced with at any given time.  Defining our true identity means acknowledging our positive emotions and learning to accept difficulty with open arms. Regardless, we have to learn to balance the identities we chose and the ones that happen without our knowledge. I chose to go to college, but I also happened to care for someone who had to grow up quicker than I did. We will always be pulled in different directions, testing our boundaries, uncovering more identities--but these remind us of what defines humanity: we have the capacity to be more than ordinary, so take advantage of that and don't run from the things that make you who you are.